Dark Souls III [official site] is out now-ish! In Japan. Sorry. But hey, we can still benefit from the release of the Japanese launch trailer, which uses English for voiceovers and its other languages, of music and ultraviolence, are universal anyway. It's pretty, and has me commencing my scripted descent into extended illness for the game's western release on April 12th. Observe, but be wary of minor spoilers and revelations:
The Japanese release of Dark Souls III also means that we can, if we so desire, watch streams of folks playing through the whole dang game. I certainly don't want to do that though, do you? I played the first Dark Souls mostly blind, meaning it was full of surprises (oh my stars, what surprises!). I wouldn't want to spoil that. I have to watch these trailers and things for work but I think I'm okay with how much they've shown.
Anyway, please do play along with my feigned illness. Don't worry, no one else at RPS reads my posts, so you can support me by popping up in their comments and asking if I'm okay. Say you heard me almost coughing up a lung on the bus. Say you spotted me fainting and rolling all the way down a hill through gorse. Tell them you caught me down the bakery with one crushed arm hanging on only by tendon. Come on, do it for your old pal Alice.