We've done the impossible. We've worked out a way to make RPS' podcast sound quality even worse. The following was recorded on the way back from the PC Gamer Showdown. On a Train. However, between the advice of Qt3's Ryan Markel on the software processing front and the fact we've got our first special guests in the form of Warhammer: Age of Reckoning's Paul Barnett and Electronic Arts' Tom Mayo, we've somehow got something we think may be worth listening to. You can download it directly from here, the RSS feed is here and the Itunes link here. And the running order beneath the cut...
00:00: Everyone Introduces themselves. Tom Mayo reveals his main job today. Paul Barnett goes "Woo!".
01:00: Kieron quickly interjects explaining Paul wants to ask questions, which we'll debate. He does his first. It's about Beach, Cities or Mountains for Vacation. Wot? THIS IS A PC GAMING BLOG.
01:38: Three words which sum up computer games. Mocking commences, all around. Kieron reveals a rubbish word rate he works for.
02:37: A Good game is... it's also cut short by some announcements on the train. Which I've cut out, as is totally unlistenable.
02:54: What is your platform of choice. No-one makes the train platform gag, which strikes me as a sign of weakness with hindsight. And I've deleted some of Tom's answer too! Man! I suck! Don't worry - Paul's got a proper answer. Seriously, there's no more cuts after this point, so I almost certainly won't have fucked it up again.
06:52: What's your dream game? As in, the game that comes to you as you're about to go to sleep. Tom gives the world's least exact answer. Kieron proves that he's a weirdo. Paul gets all teary over Paradroid.
10:29: David Braben never got to Elite. Man!
10:45: What's your favourite game? Kieron goes for retro cred. Tom goes for a pay rise. Paul bullies Tom a little before dissecting the immortal Lords of Midnight.
13:34: Kieron talks about the Hobbit. Again.
14:27: What RTS game would you recommend to a someone who's never played one. Kieron goes for indie cred. Tom goes for another promotion.
15:13: And FPS? Which causes some hmm-ing and ahh-ing.
16:40: And Online games? Tom experiments with irony before going for another pay rise.
17:30: And Kieron has to recommend a strategy game. Kieron says Civ. Paul offers a white flag to Soren Johnson.
18:06: And Platform games? Kieron goes for indie cred. Again.
18:40: If you have to meet someone on their home turf, who would you meet? Kieron goes for the Wozster. Tom works the running gag as hard as he can. Paul tells a story about the french, then cheats atrociously with his real answer.
20:34: Tom likes all the bad Bitmap Brothers games. There's general lust of Brutal Deluxe.
21:42: Paul decides it's a good idea to do some of the questions we failed to do at previous night at the PC Gamer quiz at the showdown. The first one is to name a game, then to guess what the subtitle is. But really, make jokes.
22:13: It becomes clear that Paul has had time to prepare leads to many more gags. The dirty cheater.
24:01: Lots of confused mumbling here.
24:10: Paul segues into a debate about the confusing nomenclature of Star Wars films and general conversation.
25:25: Tom notes that this is totally unfair. You tell him, Tom.
26:00: Brainstorming over MMO quests.
27:19: Kieron remembers the funny thing from the previous night. It involves slurs on PC Gamer's deputy Editor Tim Edward's sexuality.
27:48: A little about Metal Gear Solid 4. Waitasec. Wrong blog again.
28:30: The second game works. Here we have to guess the screenshot from a game. You may see the problem with this game in a podcast.
29:40: This one actually works. Tom makes the best joke of the podcast. Kieron gets it wrong, despite having seen the answer.
30:39: Kieron makes a determined attempt to allow you to play along at home. Tom has a bit of a nervous breakdown.
31:19: Everyone joins in the nervous breakdown. We decide to stop.
31:36: A brief epilogue. Kieron makes an embarrassing confession.
Direct link here and stuff.
And, honestly, better sound soon.