Death On Two (Very Fast) Legs: MechWarrior's Jenner

"Why walk when you can run?" I always ask. And why run when you can sprint? Any why sprint when you can suit up, clamber into a "light" 35-ton mech and mock the laws of physics at speeds of up to 118 km/h? These are all, of course, common philosophical questions that have echoed throughout classrooms and lecture halls for centuries. But the last one - perhaps the most common of all - is being made literal in MechWarrior Online. Dubbed the Jenner, this series standby is looking kind of incredible. And I'm pretty sure Piranha knows it.

I know I regaled my tales of impossibly brilliant bull charge tactics recently, but I believe the Jenner's forced me to have a change of heart. I mean, look at it go. It's practically majestic in how patently un-graceful it is. But gosh, that thing can move, and - if this trailer's to be believed - it can disorient opponents with giant walls of yellow text. Also, versatility is the order of the day. So says Piranha:

"Heat management, and knowing to always move, and always find your opponents weak spots are key to becoming a successful Jenner Pilot. The Jenner has a very small amount of armour, however. Getting caught in a bad turn (or worse, holding still) will see your Mech torn apart in seconds. Always stay on the move, always maneuver, always shoot their backs. Use your jumpjets to get out of bad situations, or jump into the middle of the enemy, and then jump out."

As the video says, the closed beta kicks off on August 7th for members of the Founders' Program. Fortunately, if you don't opt to fork over the fairly steep entry fee, you can still earn non-Founder versions of mechs like the Jenner in-game. So it's an even playing field. Unless you are a tree.