PSA: If Apex Legends feels like playing in soup, just play in the soup for a bit

Are you suffering from slow-motion Apex Legends servers? Try this one weird fix that doctors hate!

I played three rounds of Apelegs last night, and each one kicked off in treacle. Apparently this has been happening to other people ever since the game launched, though I'd not encountered it, and the fix is simply to stick around until the server stops being clogged up with goop. (I do not know how servers work.) I wasn't aware of that before I'd pointlessly left two games, though, so I figured someone might find this information useful.

My in-depth research for this post mainly involved spinning round in my office chair and asking Guidesman Ollie about stuff. He was surprised I hadn't ran into the problem before, and told me that maybe one in ten games for him tend to start off that way. He also said that very occasionally the goop remains stubbornly goopy (I'm paraphrasing), and that a server will stay sticky for the whole match.

So: if you've been affected by a slow-motion injury that wasn't your fault, just stick it out for a bit. If the bit goes on for more than five minutes, leave the game and think about your life choices.

Respawn acknowledged the problem back in March, as part of a Reddit 'check in':

"We’ve seen these reports and are narrowing down causes and making improvements. If this could be fixed by spending money on faster/more servers we would do it, but unfortunately there is no silver bullet on this one. We’re just rolling up our sleeves and digging in. We’ll keep you updated on any progress we make."

If there has been a progress update, I can't find it.