I've just come across the most recent fact to have ruined my day, and I'm here to share it with you: Did you know that the year 2004 - a time which exists in my mind as a temporal island that I was just walking through about three minutes ago - actually took place 15 years ago? It's true, because I was able to do these nightmare calculations in my mind while watching the retrospective trailer for the newly released Metal Wolf Chaos XD - an HD upgrade of FromSoftware's 2004 cult classic in which the President of the United States is a mech pilot. Then, having glimpsed my reflection in the empty blackness of my monitor, I turned to dust.
Metal Wolf Chaos XD was first released as an Xbox exclusive all those years ago, but now gets the PC port treatment from publisher Devolver Digital. A marriage of awesomeness and stupidity, third-person mech shooter Metal Wolf Chaos XD tells the story of Michael Wilson - the 47th President of the United States of America who single-handedly wages war against rebels using the twin powers of a giant mech suit and good old fashion American self-confidence. Some key pieces of dialogue include "You guys are roast chicken!" and "let's party!" - the last syllable hanging in the air like a whistling missile.
A music video released by FromSoftware's sound team FreQuency shows off the visual updates you're going to find with this port. It's a throwback, with that kind of roughness that brings you right back to the Noughts, and has combat aesthetic described by its publisher as "sweet cathartic destruction," - perhaps my favourite shade in the destruction gradient. It's also fantastically weird, like a chaotic cartoon you might find flicking through channels alone at 3AM. Check it out for yourself below.