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Final Fantasy XIV players enter mourning as Patch 6.01 smooths out blocky grapes

Remember them

Final Fantasy XIV players haven’t had it easy these last few weeks. The sheer success of its Endwalker expansion resulted in lengthy login queues and server errors. It’s become so popular that Square Enix have temporarily stopped selling the game, taking its Starter and Complete Editions off sale. All the while, some low-poly grapes stayed static in the breeze. Jagged, delicious, minding their own business. Until their blockiness was papped and thrust into the public eye. Memes ensued and the grapes became the talk of the town, so much so that they’ve been smoothed out in the latest patch, much to everyone’s dismay.

It wasn’t supposed to end like this. The grapes were blocky, yes, but they had a certain charm. Just look at the Low Poly Videogame Foods account which highlights such cubic treats. FFXIV’s grapes shared the same innocence. They were dorky and crystalline until patch 6.01 showed up, which has now fixed an issue that reduced their polygon count to “alleviate system memory usage in the area”. The result is that their hard edges have now been rounded off and players haven’t been the same since.

Lots of tributes have been pouring in for the grapes. Perhaps the most moving of which is the footage below, which shows some bros taking the time out of their busy schedule to pay their respects.

Others envisage a new opening jingle, honouring the fallen fruit.

Some say the grapes left us with one final plea, before they were lost forever.

Even Final Fantasy XIV’s official Twitter account paid tribute. The good news is that the patch only seemed to have smoothed out the grapes in Labyrinthos, and eagle-eyed players have spotted the same old blocky ones over in Wineport. Yes, there are some that still remain.

Meanwhile, as everyone pours one out for the grapes, another player has discovered a certain sandwich has flown under the radar. Just look at that slab of razor-sharp bread crusts. Is it only a matter of time before Squeenix patch this square king? Surely not, they couldn't, could they? Whatever the polygon counts are, I'm happy with them. Just let the food rest, please.

About the Author

Ed Thorn avatar

Ed Thorn

Senior Staff Writer

When Ed's not cracking thugs with bicycles in Yakuza, he's likely swinging a badminton racket in real life. Any genre goes, but he's very into shooters and likes a weighty gun, particularly if they have a chainsaw attached to them. Adores orange and mango squash, unsure about olives.

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