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Cuisine Royale is battle royale about wearing a kitchen

Kitchen Nightmares

We’ve all thought it: what if we could cover our entire body in Plunkbat’s stalwart frying pan? Why should we be limited to covering just our posterior, when surely the rest of us is just as in need of protection. That’s the premise behind Darkflow Software’s April Fools' gag, which has since been transformed into a proper game, Cuisine Royale. Hunt down 99 other people, all while wearing a kitchen.

My first game saw me murdered with nothing but some colourful boxer shorts and a knife to my name, but when I was filled with holes during my second match, I was a heavily-armoured kitchen knight. Pots, pans and even a waffle iron covered my squishy body, while a drip strapped to my back and the cigar in my mouth gave me some handy buffs. Sure, I still died, but I looked pretty cool.

All of these objects were pilfered from the ruined homes and barns of a World War 2 battlefield. There are trenches, jeeps, bunkers with functioning gun emplacements -- it’s all a bit weird when juxtaposed to all the players, stripped down to their pants, fighting over utensils. No doubt it has a lot to do with Darkflow Software’s other in-development game: Enlisted. It’s a World War 2 squad-based MMO.

Aside from the setting and what you can stick to your body, Cuisine Royale is otherwise nearly indistinguishable from PUBG. You spawn in the map rather than dropping in, but from there it’s all very familiar. You run around empty buildings and fields of wheat, desperately searching for weapons and equipment, all the while trying to outrun the shrinking circle.

The addition of proper, defensible bunkers might mix things up a bit more in team fights, however. I’ve only played solo, so there’s only so much I can do with a wee citadel to myself, but with chums on the fixed guns, it’s not hard to imagine some proper sieges kicking off.

Cuisine Royale is free on Steam, but come June 25 it will become a premium game. If you grab it before then, however, it will be yours to keep.

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