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The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings

3 months ago

Netflix’s first trailer for The Witcher shows off sword fights and magic

Everyone’s old Witcher pal Geralt of Rivia is approaching his Netflix debut, and a trailer premiered at San Diego Comic-Con is here to prove it. Tune in for a tale of genocide, some glimpses at familiar characters and monsters, and an impossibly square-jawed Henry Cavill as Geralt. (You know, him off the telly. You might’ve seen him in The Tudors, or bigging it up on…

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6 months ago

Feature: The king is dead

Have You Played… The Witcher 2: Assassins Of Kings

How many dead kings is too many dead kings? That's the question at the heart of The Witcher 2: Assassins Of Kings. I mean, the clue's in the title. Perhaps the bigger question is, will you join the ranks of the titular monarch manglers? And it's a doozy of a question. In a world already destabilised by a rush of regicides, what happens when one…

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12 months ago

See Henry Cavill in costume as Geralt for Netflix’s Witcher

There are still many questions around Netflix's upcoming live-action adaptation of The Witcher--Will it be any good? Will Geralt be in that tub? Can I import my save into the telly? Is Geralt in the tub in every episode? Will he sack off quests to play Gwent down the pub? Does Geralt count as being in the tub in every episode if that's just in…

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1 year ago

Feature: Recky with the good hair

Steam Summer Sale recommendations: 2018 edition!

The old quote is wrong: neither death nor taxes are, it seems to me, as terrifyingly certain as the Steam Summer Sale. Yes, once more we can add to the heap that is our backlog by buying games for, what, five quid, on average? But there are so many to choose from that it's easy to get flustered, so who better than the staff of…

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2 years ago

Soon, Voldo and Geralt will meet outside my dreams

CD Projekt Red don't have to do much to capture the internet's attention. Remember when they beeped? That was a good day. Today is also a good day. No beeps or boops or any other sound effects have emerged from the witchy cyberpunkers, but a new chronicle of Geralt's adventures has appeared on the official Witcher twitter feed. "Kaer Morhen’s old stones have witnessed many…

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Feature: All trailer, no trash

The best PC game trailers ever

The game trailer is a sly creature. It wants to entertain you, to excite you, to embolden you with curiousity. But it also wants to sell you a bunch of code wrapped up in some 3D shapes. Some trailers turn out to be more artful than the game they’re hawking, others plant sneaky emotions in your head with music. However, some are better than others.…

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The Witcher turns 10 years old and celebrates with a big sale

Somehow, our lad Geralt's video game adventures have turned ten years old this week. That's ten years of slaying monsters as the silver fox with cat-eyes. Ten years of werewolves, dragons, unicorns, romances and politics, usually all at the same time. Ten years of articles debating how much sex in a video game constitutes too much. To celebrate the series' tenth anniversary, you can pick…

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And then Geralt lived happily ever after

Few witchers live to have a happy ending but shucks, our lad Geralt has done well for himself. With the tenth birthday of The Witcher games nearing (end of October), a new video from developers CD Projekt Red shows him having a big old knees-up with his mates and loved ones. He is my favourite of all tired old digital men and has been through…

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The Witcher: Colour in Geralt-in-the-bath with real pencils

The Witcher franchise is now getting an adult colouring book. It's adult in two senses - one is the sense of colouring books aimed at adults as a relaxation method being a rising trend in the last few years and the other is the sense where you get a picture of Geralt in the nuddy in that tub to colour in. His witcher junk is…

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4 years ago

Feature: Fiction vs. folklore

The Myth Behind The Monsters of The Witcher 3

The Northern Kingdoms of The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt [official site] is a realm ravaged by war, pestilence, and greed. And, try as he might, Geralt continually finds himself trapped between the political maneuverings of the Northern Kingdom's most ambitious contenders. So it's easy to forget that Geralt's true calling in life is as a monster slayer. Lucky for him the Northern Kingdoms has no…

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5 years ago

Feature: Difficult Difficult Lemon Difficult

Life’s Too Short: How I Learned To Embrace Easy Mode

Jon Morcom ruminates - not entirely seriously - on trying to overcome difficulty spikes in games. “Slick, you dozy prick! How can you miss with a shotgun from point blank range?” I recently shocked myself by saying this rather too loudly at some pixels on my screen arranged into the shape of a nondescript bald man firing a gun very badly. I’d bought Wasteland 2…

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Feature: Assassin Of Things

Return To The Witcher 2: Part 2 – The Not So Good Bits

So, last time we looked at The Witcher 2 in all its glory. Today, we're flipping it round. Where did things go wrong? Before we start, a clarification. While this will inherently be negative, it's not to bash the game. The game was awesome, and many of the balls it dropped to the ground were at least pretty well gathered up by the Enhanced Edition.…

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Feature: That Rivia Touch

Return To The Witcher 2: Part 1 – The Good Bits

Now, if you're anything like me, you're really looking forward to The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt [official site] later this year, and you need to go to the gym a lot more. In anticipation of the first and avoidance of the second, I've been replaying the second game to refresh my memory and see a few things that I missed the first time round. With…

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Totally Not Dark Souls: Lords Of The Fallen Touts Difficulty

I can't imagine it's easy being a videogame door. One day your kind is totally invincible - your unassuming lacquered flesh the only thing capable of withstanding a fully buffed out hero's galaxy lance machine punch gun - and the next the merest of kicks explodes you into splinters. That's why I really feel for the door in the trailer for former Witcher 2 man…

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6 years ago

Mod It All: The Witcher 2 Receiving ‘Combat Rebalance’

This may look like a blog post but it's actually a combination of confessional booth and news stand. Gather round and confess the mistakes of your past as I do the same, then pick up the evening papers on the way out. As the headline suggests, my sin relates to The Witcher 2. I've never finished it. Or started it for that matter. The reason…

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7 years ago

Witcher 3: Open World, Non-Linear, Beard

You know a developer's really made it when they arrange an exclusive cover feature with GameStop's loyalty card-flogging magazine Game Informer. CD Projekt RED are the latest to do the whole de facto scoop thing, revealing the already-teased The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. Aka, 2014's most exciting RPG, it rather sounds like. AND GERALT HAS A BEARD NOW.

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Feature: Digging For Facts

Cyberpunk’s A ‘Sandbox,’ But What Does That Mean?

Sanboxes are tricky things. I mean, the label's shared by Grand Theft Auto, Skyrim, Just Cause 2, and Mount and Blade - among zillions of others - but it means very different things in all of those cases. I was recently informed that it can also refer to a box full of sand, which isn't a videogame at all but instead some kind of devilishly…

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GOG Adds Mac Support, Witcher 2 Mod Kit Dated

This "Macintosh Personal Computer" thing is never going to catch on, but folks like Valve and now GOG insist on humoring owners of these unnaturally pristine elf machines, so here we are. During its much-ballyhooed news-a-thon, GOG drew back the curtain on a new version of its service tailored to Macs, which brings with it 50 games (eight of which you receive free just for…

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