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Ritual Of The Moon diary: day 14

Mum's the word

Yeah I miscounted the days, so today is actually day 14, but only one meteor hit the earth? I think? Honestly I'm not sure any more. Yesterday I went to get some pasta from the shop on my way home and they'd run out which made me really sad. Then I was properly passive-aggressive but also sort of just aggressive actually to my housemate, because he made late night chilli and got a load of rice the sink and left it. Apparently household chores are often a final straw for me.

I said sorry and we made up, so I guess I'm okay today. Living in a house share is weird when you're not a 20-year-old student. Like, not just one, but three other people! Marty Burnham The Moon Witch at least has complete control of her own environment, even though that environment is, uh, severely limited. Her shuttle is neat and tidy though, so good for her. When I'm down I tend to let my room get into a state and then clean it all up at once.

Today Marty Burnham reflected on her mother, once again. (Her ritual phrase was "To love without being loved back still feels like love." Fucking hell, Marty. I am too emotionally fragile to contemplate that right now.).

Marty's mum seems to have been a bit of a hard ass. A lot of us have weird relationships with our mums, Marty, don't worry. "People will turn their backs on you the first chance they get" is a pretty hardcore thing to teach your daughter, Mammy Burnham. I don't think it's true, but at this particular point in her life Marty has a lot of cause to think it's true.

Right now the heteronorm is to divide social parental relationships along gender lines i.e. the mams do most of the childcare (although this is not the case with everyone, of course), but when it comes to knowing your place in the world, the boys get taken fishing by their dad and the girls get taught how to make cakes by their mum. That kind of thing. This is changing now that everyone in the current generation has started having kids with a bit more of an "Ugh, who cares, there's no such thing as a homemaker 'cos in this economy mum and dad both need jobs, just get whatever coloured toys you want, idk" approach.

My parents split up when I was about 11-ish. When they were together, apart from them arguing a lot, I remember him being a well-meaning parent who was both incredibly relaxed about some things and extremely anxious about others e.g. one time I burnt my arm on a hot iron and was relatively alright until my dad noticed and started screaming for mum, at which point I thought something awful must have happened to me and started wailing.

Around the same time he left I thought I might have started my period for the first time and told my mum while we were in the gardens of a National Trust house. She kind of freaked out a bit, which sort of made me freak out at the idea of having a period, but it turned out to be a false alarm anyway.

Anyway I'll bet my bottom dollar that I'm not going to hear Marty mention her dad at any point.

Today's ritual drawing is a hotdog, an inappropriately phallic image.

Ritual Of The Moon is available from Steam now.

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