I'm declaring it: this is the Worst Week Ever for Steam Charts. And let's face it - this is entirely your fault. If you were a better person, you'd buy better games. But instead you buy the same eight bloody games every bloody week, and then buy a game that isn't even out for over a year. A YEAR! You are awful, and you do…
Stats and Plunkbats
Feel like chicken tonight
2 days ago
1 week ago
This week: Rude swears! Writing about more interesting games than the ones you boring people keep buying! And battle advice to people who've been dead 1,800 years! It's some Steam Charts.
2 weeks ago
Good hello. Please, grab hold and sit, for this is some Steam Charts.
3 weeks ago
Hello person. This is the Steam Charts, the weekly round-up of the top-grossing PC games on the online store Steam. We write it cynically to collect your clicks, and then we take those clicks and we use them to poke innocent orphans in their stupid orphan eyes.
4 weeks ago
Our former John (RPS in peace) has vanished in odd circumstances, last heard claiming he'll be flying through the sky in a big metal snake, so I'm taking over this week. Not even an employee anymore and he's still making work for me. Join me for a stroll down the hit parade to inspect last week's top-selling games on Steam.
1 month ago
WARNING: If you're reading this, there is a very strong chance you're looking at news on your favourite game. Please, it's imperative you click on to discover crucial information.
OK, two things on the agenda. Firstly, I'm heading off on my expedition to attempt to break the Curse Of Steam Charts for the next couple of weeks. I'm returning to Ursidae, Caniformia, to find that ancient temple once more and attempt to appease the enraged spirit of Horace. Hopefully we'll never speak again! Secondly, Toby's back! This week's Steam Charts are brought to you…
2 months ago
Haha, that was funny last week wasn't it! Remember how we did that whole bit where I had left RPS, but then I was still stuck writing Steam Charts? Heh, they do some good goofs at this site. Anyway, let's... [looks straight into camera]
Hello, and welcome to RPS's weekly round-up of the top selling games on Steam for the last weeeeee... WHAT?
It has happened. The day spoken of in legend. After two years, I am finally to be set free of the Curse Of Steam Charts. All its taken is entirely leaving my job in four days time to end this purgatory. The only decision left is to whom I shall pass this vexation. That, and how to avoid mentioning the actual games for one more…
As this is my penultimate edition of Steam Charts, before I return to nuzzle into the warm infinite belly of Horace for all of time, I thought it might be fun to take a bit of a look behind the scenes of Steam Charts, to see how this weekly column comes together. So, hey, join me as we step behind the curtain, and learn a…
3 months ago
As time inexorably ticks away, its guttural screaming horror counting down the seconds until our infinite deaths, it's important we remember what really matters: that the game you like best isn't as good as the game I like best. The game you like best, the game you like reading about the most, is indicative of how foolish you are, how you're wasting your precious moments…
John had the presence of mind to take today off, after flying back from San Francisco on Sunday. Young Matt and I got a red eye that took off on Friday night and landed on Saturday afternoon. I didn’t sleep for 30 hours, then slept for 12, was wired for the next 16, and then slept for another four. Which brings us to today, when…
Oh hello! John is away in San Francisco gobbling up gum left on the underside of chairs at the Game Developers Conference, so I'm filling in for our regular rundown of last week's top-selling games on Steam. As is customary for weeks where I need to take over, the charts are full of the surprises he grumbles they never have. What can I say, John…
Who says games aren’t educational? When I woke up this morning, I didn’t know the Korean word for “Red Zone.” That’s “Red Zone” as in, the randomly selected section of Playerunknown's Battlegrounds’ map that becomes an artillery test site for a time every few minutes, and “Red Zone” as in “the roving death circle that you really don’t want to be stuck inside.” Now, thanks…
Hahaha, I can't believe you think the game you like is good! The game you like ISN'T good! Your liking the game you like makes you look just SO silly. Find out which games everyone else likes, and then start liking those games instead, with our handy Steam Charts guide.
4 months ago
I'm nothing if not a hypocrite. Week after week I lament you utterly awful people buying the exact same five games again and again and again and again and again and again and again. This week I shall lament people buying games that barely even exist. Hold my hand, let me walk you through this most peculiar of weeks, and into oncoming traffic.
Of course the original editions of the Steam Charts focused on those maps used by the early pioneers of steam-based exploration, so this week we take a historical look back at the origins of your favourite game series. For just one week, put aside your modern electricity-based computing, and come on a journey through time.
The game you like isn't as good as the game I like. When you like the game you like, you are made to look a fool! Find out why in this week's Steam Charts.
I took it for granted. I knew I shouldn't, I think I even knew I was doing it at the time. But last week, when the charts were filled with new and interesting games, pushing out the tired and bloated titles, I didn't take the time to recognise what we had. And now, as can only be the direct responsibility of my careless credulity, everything…
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